My daughter has survived experiences that no child deserves. I am not going to describe those experiences because that is her story to tell. Jennifer was six years old when I married her dad. I didn't much care for young children at that time and wasn't keen on the idea of having any of my own, but she was SO cool (as anyone who knew her can tell you) that I made an exception in her case. In fact, I've told people that I mainly married her dad so I could play the role of mom to her. She would probably tell you, because she is generous and kind, that I was a great stepmom. But while I did my best to facilitate her growth and development, my best was not good enough. I did not know enough about what Jennifer needed to meet her needs. I was 24 years old, and my childhood experience had been nothing like hers. I was able to help her with some, but not all, of her adolescent and teen struggles. And I wish I had given her much more of the kind of support she needed. I'm still not sure what that support would look like.
Jennifer has given me more than I have given her. She taught me how to relax, advocate, forgive, be patient, be open-minded, be sneaky, say no, and (most important) avoid people who are not positive influences in my life. I have so many happy memories of Jennifer. Among my favorites include her dressing up her younger siblings as peasant women and making them perform in plays that she scripted, designed sets for, and directed. She also introduced her siblings to video gaming – lots of video gaming. Both of her siblings were heavily involved in high school theater productions. One of them now has a bachelor's degree in film and television production. The other is a year away from a bachelor's in computer game design. Coincidence?
Jennifer also has a bachelor's degree in criminology and sociology and has dabbled in several professions as she prioritizes raising her two children with better mom skills than I have EVER seen before. My granddaughter, Petra, reminds me so much of Jennifer it's eerie. But she is getting the childhood her mother should have had, and it is making all the difference.
Jennifer is a transformer. She has transformed (among others) herself, her parents and siblings, her husband and children, and, most recently, the young children she is working with at her children's elementary school. I am overwhelmed with emotion whenever I think of how much I love my daughter. And I am so grateful that she let me marry her dad.
